E. D. Hill, Fox News channel host and author congratulates Oscar and Sharon Rossum as Pennsylvania parents of the yearOSCAR AND SHARON ROSSUM of York, Pennsylvania are the parents of six beautiful children ranging in age from 12 to 20 and have been married for 28 years. Oscar is the senior pastor and founder of Mt. Zion Community Fellowship Church and the President of Pennsylvania’s first public school to be converted into a Charter School- with over 700 students and 100 staff. But these are voluntary positions–he has worked with Tyco Electronics for 22 years to earn the support of his large family!
Daughter Carissa, 18, just graduated from high school with honors and a 4.2 grade-point average. The oldest daughter, Ciara, was President of her graduating class two years ago, and also was a star athlete. The children have all received honors for academics, sports and/or music. They are involved in many extracurricular activities including PSI (Postponing Sexual Involvement), Future Leaders of York, National Honor Society, Student Council, Black and Latino Male Task Force, etc. In March, 2004, the five oldest, having formed a singing quintet, won first place at the legendary Apollo Theater in Harlem, NY. This was after winning first place in the Apollo on Tour Contest at the Strand Capital Theatre in York City, PA in February, 2004.
The Rossums are known for making their home available to youth of all ages at all hours. They also took in Jylieq, a youth who had lost his biological father in a tragic situation, as a member of their family. It is little wonder that the Rossums have been honored by the city of York, given keys to the city, among a number of other awards.
Lourdes Swarts
President, Pennsylvania Family Coalition
Pennsylvania Parents of the Year 2005
Douglas and Fidelia Friedman Douglas and Fidelia Friedman of Harrisburg, PA have been married for 17 years and have 3 children-Samuel, 16, Eric, 13 and Rebecca, 10 yrs old. They met in Mexico City , where both at the time were journalists. Their home is one where tolerance and love for differences in people is the norm. He is white, was born Jewish and speaks with a northern East Coast accent. She is dark-skinned, from a Catholic family, and speaks with a strong Mexican accent. Their children have grown up knowing to love and respect others no matter their race or religion. Both are now teachers; she to kindergarten, he to university students at Pennsylvania State University – Harrisburg
While both are very active in community efforts, the Friedmans’ story is one also of heroic efforts to provide a loving and stable home for their children, in spite of desperate battles with life-threatening personal illness and a wide range of medical problems that their children have and are enduring. Douglas has coached soccer for youth teams for 13 years, serves a number of community organizations by providing free marketing consultation, etc. Fidelia serves as Treasurer for Mosaico, the Latino student group, and is a Board Member of Estamos Unidos, a Latino community group, and also is Editor of its well-respected newsletter. Both are very active in their synagogue
Their daughter, Becky, was born with many developmental problems. For the first 5 years of her life, she was fed through surgically inserted tubes. Every night, she must receive a growth hormone injection (which her loving brothers often administer). Douglas and Fidelia have battled with her illnesses, uncooperative school administrators, and their own health problems to insure that Becky could receive the best education possible. Their son, Sam, has Tourette’s Syndrome. By the nonstop efforts of his parents, Sam is a happy teenager, a Boy Scout, active athlete and B student. Their other son, Eric is an honor student who has won many academic awards (for example, he reached the regional Spelling Bee finals 3 years in a row.)
Three years ago, Douglas developed cancer. His treatments included over 4 months of chemotherapy, followed by a month of radiation treatment. His oncologist said that Douglas ‘ reaction to the chemotherapy was the most difficult that he had ever seen in a patient. Despite the ravages of chemo, he continued teaching throughout the treatment, missing only one day during the whole time. He and Fidelia also maintained their home as a stable environment for the children, taking turns in driving them to their sports, school events, etc.
Despite all of their challenges, the Friedmans continue to volunteer with community organizations, their children’s schools and their synagogue. Their example of unceasing service to the community in spite of great adversity continually inspires all those who know this special family.
Pennsylvania Parents of the Year 2004
Pennsylvania Governor Ed Rendell with Pennsylvania Parents of the Year James Robert and Angela Vaughn (right); and their daughter Stephanie (left).
4th Sunday of every July
November 2nd, 2006
Twenty-Six Conclusions from the Social Sciences
Sixteen of the top scholars on family life have re-issued a joint report on the importance of marriage. First released in 2002, the newly revised edition highlights five new themes in marriage-related research.
Why Marriage Matters, Second Edition: 26 Conclusions from the Social Sciences was produced by a politically diverse and interdisciplinary group of leading family scholars, chaired by W. Bradford Wilcox of the University of Virginia and includes psychologist John Gottman, best selling author of books about marriage and relationships, Linda Waite, coauthor of The Case for Marriage, Norval Glenn and Steven Nock, two of the top family social scientists in the country, William Galston, a Clinton Administration domestic policy advisor, and Judith Wallerstein, author of the national bestseller The Unexpected Legacy of Divorce.
Since 1960, the proportion of children who do not live with their own two parents has risen sharply—from 19.4% to 42.3% in the Nineties. This change has been caused, first, by large increases in divorce, and more recently, by a big jump in single mothers and cohabiting couples who have children but don’t marry. For several decades the impact of this dramatic change in family structure has been the subject of vigorous debate among scholars. No longer. These 26 findings are now widely agreed upon.
Five New Themes
In addition to reviewing research on family topics covered in the first edition of the report, Why Marriage Matters, Second Edition highlights five new themes in marriage-related research.
- Even though marriage has lost ground in the minority communities in recent years, marriage has not lost its value in these communities.
- An emerging line of research indicates that marriage benefits poor Americans, and Americans from disadvantaged backgrounds, even though these Americans are now less likely to get and stay married.
- Marriage seems to be particularly important in civilizing men, turning their attention away from dangerous, antisocial, or self-centered activities and towards the needs of a family.
- Beyond its well-known contributions to adult health, marriage influences the biological functioning of adults and children in ways that can have important social consequences.
- The relationship quality of intimate partners is related to both their marital status and, for married adults, to the degree to which these partners are committed to marriage.
Update Research Findings
Among the research findings summarized by the report are:
About Children
- Parental divorce reduces the likelihood that children will graduate from college, and achieve high-status jobs.
- Children who live with their own two married parents enjoy better physical health, on average, than children in other family forms. The health advantages of married homes remain even after taking into account socioeconomic status.
- Parental divorce approximately doubles the odds that adult children will end up divorced.
About Men
- Married men earn between 10 and 40 percent more than single men with similar education and job histories.
- Married people, especially married men, have longer life expectancies than otherwise similar singles.
- Marriage increases the likelihood fathers will have good relationships with children. Sixty-five percent of young adults whose parents divorced had poor relationships with their fathers (compared to 29% from non-divorced families).
About Women
- Divorce and unmarried childbearing significantly increases poverty rates of both mothers and children. Between one-fifth and one-third of divorcing women end up in poverty as a result of divorce.
- Married mothers have lower rates of depression than single or cohabiting mothers.
- Married women appear to have a lower risk of domestic violence than cohabiting or dating women. Even after controlling for race, age, and education, people who live together are still three times more likely to report violent arguments than married people.
About Society
- Adults who live together but do not marry—cohabitors—are more similar to singles than to married couples in terms of physical health and disability, emotional well-being and mental health, as well as assets and earnings. Their children more closely resemble the children of single people than the children of married people.
- Marriage appears to reduce the risk that children and adults will be either perpetrators or victims of crime. Single and divorced women are four to five times more likely to be victims of violent crime in any given year than married women. Boys raised in single-parent homes are about twice as likely (and boys raised in stepfamilies three times as likely) to have committed a crime that leads to incarceration by the time they reach their early thirties, even after controlling for factors such as race, mother’s education, neighborhood quality and cognitive ability.
Fundamental Conclusions
The authors conclude with three fundamental conclusions:
- Marriage is an important social good, associated with an impressively broad array of positive outcomes for children and adults alike.
- Marriage is an important public good, associated with a range of economic, health, educational, and safety benefits that help local, state, and federal governments serve the common good.
- The benefits of marriage extend to poor and minority communities, despite the fact that marriage is particularly fragile in these communities.
To order, please contact The Institute for American Values.
November 2nd, 2006
10 Marriage Mistakes
by Mark Goulston, M.D.
In life and love, you may think you’re supposed to always focus on the positive instead of the negative. However, unless you become aware of your own hurtful attitudes or actions — so that you can correct them — your chances of staying in love ’til death do you part are close to zero. To have your marriage last a lifetime, avoid these 10 common mistakes:
1. Talking “at” instead of “with” your mate. Let his or her body language be your guide. When you’re talking “at” your partner, he or she will tense up. When you’re talking “with” your spouse, he or she will relax.
2. Tuning out — instead of tuning in — to what your mate is saying. When your mind begins to wander, stop and remember that what your partner is saying is important to him or her.
3. Forgetting to thank your mate. Not thanking your spouse for being considerate, thoughtful or kind makes him or her feel unappreciated and foolish for caring about you.
4. Getting defensive instead of saying, “I’m sorry.” When you mess up, the sooner you sincerely say, “I’m sorry,” the sooner your mate can stop resenting you.
5. Always saying, “I’m sorry,” yet never changing. An apology buys you another chance. However, if you keep making the same mistake, apologies not only seem empty, but annoying as well.
6. Being repeatedly late. Frequently keeping your partner waiting is not only inconsiderate, it’s arrogant.
7. Playing the victim. This behavior not only accuses your spouse of hurting you, but adds insult to injury by implying that he or she is doing it intentionally, when that may not be the case.?
8. Jumping to conclusions. Presuming that you know what your partner feels — and why — without first getting all the facts is only going to push him or her away.
9. Badmouthing your spouse behind his or her back. This not only adds to the list of secrets you keep from your mate, but also tells others how little you respect your partner.
10. Thinking that doing something once is enough. If you only temporarily stop making the above mistakes — and don’t continue to monitor yourself to keep from slipping back into bad habits — you’re teasing your partner with changing. You’re also kidding yourself that you’re committed to improving your marriage, when really you’re not.?
Dr. Goulston is the co-founder of and the author of The 6 Secrets of a Lasting Relationship
November 1st, 2006
